First and Last, Obsolete

"You'll never know," he said. "Just as you don't recall the day you were born what it was like to take your first breath, you'll never know when you take your last breath." Come to think of it,  it's that way with a lot of things. "First" and "last" are what slip through the cracks in life. Especially, I think, in regard to oneself.


Shakespeare, I believe it was, called sleep "the twin sister of death." I slip into sleep every night without knowing the exact moment. I like to read in bed so I get into my night clothes, brush my teeth, clean my face, then sit up in a bank of pillows, turn on the bedside lamp, pick a book, and read. That does it every time. Before long I'm gone and when I wake up all I have to do is put aside the book, turn off the lamp, and settle down for the rest of the night. Then I wake up the next morning and take up life where I left off. Not much has changed during the night.


Since I don't dread that little procedure, but welcome it, I rather think I won't dread dying. It must be natural at this stage of the infinite span of life, like slipping in and out of a dream. It was the ones who were standing by who experienced my birth. It must have been quite real to them, but, to me, it was not a thing worth remembering. "As for death," my friend added, "only those who have the job of dealing with a dead body or the loss of your company will see it as real, not you."


I'd like to believe he was right. Probably I'll experience an afterlife of some sort. The reason I think so is that I think so. I believe we get what we expect. As for pre-existence, I can't vouch for that, but I've had inklings of indications that it, too, is real. I just think that the long sleep in embryo and infancy tended to blot it out of consciousness. If, indeed, life is eternal and we've each had, are having, and will have, our share of it eternally, then wouldn't it be cumbersome to deal with an endless past? It's much more pleasant, to me, to let it remain as unknown to me as the future. I'd get tired just thinking about it. As for the afterlife, I can't foresee it except by faith so I don't think of that much either. I'm sure the best preparation for it is to make the most of today. Maybe this is Nature's way of keeping life fresh and uncomplicated and mysterious.


Recently I addressed this subject more realistically. I said to myself, "Why not live your life as if there were to be no death? Take those words of your friend to heart, that death may come as a night's sleep and you'll awaken from it as naturally as you woke up this morning. Why not carry on as if nothing more than that will happen? So, now, suppose further that you have a hand in creating your  forever life? Then what would you be doing with it? The whole idea of approaching life as if it lies before you, not behind, and with infinite possibilities, - isn't that more appealing than thinking of age as a precursor to death? It might actually be a time to prepare for a brighter next life." 


Well, I didn't take on any burden of some high and lofty goal. I didn't say to myself I'd attempt the impossible. I just said, I'm going to make each day be a little better. I can do that, and I do. I love life and I don't have to cling to it as if it were going to leave me or I to leave it. If life is the grand reality that I think it is, then it will hang onto me, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it! Things have been going well for me since that little talk. I feel like I'm heading to a goal called Understanding. I gain a little each day and each day I make a few stops to enjoy the view. I'm sure I'll never reach the ultimate peak of Understanding's mountain summit where I'll know all there is to know, but I keep climbing and imagine what it might be like to see from there. Now that must be one fantastic sight!