The Liberated Woman

People sometimes ask me, “What did you do before you retired?” My answer is, “I ran my own business.” Then I add, “As for retirement, I’m not retired and I don’t expect I ever will be because the business needs me and I couldn’t be happier working.”

Of course, the questioner always probes further, “ Interesting! What might your business be?” I go on to explain. “I am a homemaker, I write, sculpt, play the piano, sketch, play bridge, read, sew, cook a little, keep house, garden and sometimes go back to school or volunteer for some good cause. On a day I look at my calendar and see nothing posted, I yell, 'Yippee!' I call that day a surprise package. Maybe, on second thought, you could call that retirement.”

If I'd been talking to a young and eager business woman attempting to break through the glass ceiling I’d probably lose my audience in short order. She’s likely to believe she can do what used to be called a man’s job, be a happy wife, raise a family and nearly everything I did just as well or better. Maybe she’s right. She’s the so-called “liberated woman” of the new century and I admire her. Sometimes I may even have envied her. I knew those secret yearnings to find some more interesting work and draw a pay check for it. Still, I’ve managed to love my work and never begrudge or degrade it. Somehow I’ve been too contented. I never aspired to finish my last two years of college and pursue another career. To get married to a good looking, intelligent and honest career Marine pilot at the age of nineteen was the ultimate for me. I felt I'd been catapulted over a sea of studies, tests, job-seeking, and hunting for the "right man" in one glorious leap. 

At first I did feel embarrassed to be sharing the money my husband worked for but he saw nothing unusual about it. We were of a different generation, of course. Soon enough I was able to see that I worked for our money too. I once wrote down an estimate of what it would cost my husband to hire someone to clean, cook, do laundry, shop, take care of the children, their pets, and generally act as CEO of a household. I kept that information to myself but once or twice I may have shown it to him. That would have been when some argument about money came up and I needed to strengthen my case. 

But here’s something worth thinking about: What do most working people look forward to? I’d wager that would be retirement. Unless they’re like my son, David, who told me once, “Mom, I’m so happy with my job I’d gladly work for nothing if I didn’t need the money.” That kind of person probably does not look forward to retirement. 

In one sense I’ve had that kind of job all my life. I’ve enjoyed taking care of my children and my home and occasionally taking on a volunteer job if it did not interfere with these. I’ve been able to do this without working for someone else with one exception. When I was newly widowed I tried a full time job as receptionist and secretary for a retirement community. It was enjoyable enough for the five years I was in it, but, since I no longer needed the extra money, I went back to home life and being my own boss. I’ve had some of “retirement” activity nearly every day of my life. If I haven’t made a name for myself or reached high levels of achievement it’s only because I didn’t have the interest or will. I may have missed many opportunities but I’m not sure I’d change much, even if I could.

There’s no real way to describe a liberated woman. I think that liberation in its highest sense comes from within. It is a state of mind, more than a condition of circumstances. So, somehow, I believe it’s within the reach of every woman on the face of the planet to become liberated, though it would be much more difficult, if not impossible, without hope, faith and love in her heart. 

There must be more definitions of liberated women than we know. Often we read about them, occasionally we encounter them in our own lives and, if we’re fortunate enough to count ourselves liberated, we women may save this weary world of ours.