"White Out" Weeks

I’ve used up a whole bottle of it. You know, one of those little vessels with an applicator cap. It’s called “White Out,” a correction fluid used to cover up mistakes on paper. Works great on the grid paper I use to plan where my furniture will go in the new place I’ll be calling home. I can’t count the number of sheets I’ve penned out in detail only to change things with White Out until the changes become too drastic to correct in any way but by starting over on a new page. 

I’m comfy waiting here in the guest house and it’s good to have these weeks to get acquainted with people and the grounds and living in a more tightly knit community. Days are much more active for me now. Lots of interesting activities. Not much TV. Much more walking, and neighbors who have more to say than hi and goodbye. Going places on the bus. Yes, that’s a biggie. The first time in my life since I was fifteen that I haven’t had my own wheels. But I’m getting used to it and my driver’s license is good until 2016 so I could change my mind and buy another car, but right now I see it as an unnecessary expense. Besides, Robin will drive me anywhere and having her company as we go is ever so much more fun.

When I’m alone, as I am in my guest villa, I sometimes listen to Pandora Radio. The music of my choice is from my times. That covers a goodly span. Right now some rich male voice is singing “Smile.” Like much of the music, it wrings the heart, but gently, and reminds me that there’s no one else here in my home. I’m not looking for that now. I’ve been blessed to have had two dear and lovable husbands. Now is the time for what I call single blessedness. A time to know that, as the Bible says, “Thy Maker is thine husband.”

Someone has said that memory is faithful to goodness. For me that is true. I’ve made my share of mistakes in life and have plenty of things to regret but my God is ever patient with me, and with all, so I am forgiving of myself and others. I carry no grudges, entertain no sorrows and, in a sense, I use my mental White Out as I go along. Not to cover up the bad times up but to see them as lessons once learned. With paper and pen and White Out I proceed to re-draw the plan until it becomes more and more satisfying. 

Moving is much easier when there’s a resting and reflective time between moving out and moving in. I’m enjoying it. Right now I need to get dressed for the bus trip to the market. Got to be prompt around here. Where is my list? I wonder if I can find some White Out in one of the stores.