Saturday, August 31, 2013

Growing Old The Cash 'n Carry Way

Like many couples, my husband, Wally, and I had issues over money. Growing up in the  Great Depression years, Wally G (we called him that to differentiate him and our son, Wally K) learned to respect money, though he was anything but a miser. A dollar bill never entered his wallet with crumples or turned-down corners. But he didn't like credit cards.  If I'd hear him call me, “Joyce!” into his office shortly after the postman came and see a business sized paper in his hand I'd know I was being called to account for some credit card statement. "What was this for? Or this?" he'd ask, pointing to the numbers.

Wally G liked to manage the money and since he was the one who earned it I could scarcely quarrel with that. I never purchased big items without his consent, it was the accumulation of little ones that ballooned to a dreaded bottom line. Then I’d have to remember, explain, placate, and remind him that I, too, earned the money as his housekeeper, loving wife and the mother of his children. “If you had to pay for even the first of these, a daily housekeeper, think how that would add up!” To which he’d respond, “I know, Mrs. Wethe," (his pet name for me, pronounced wethy,) "and I wouldn’t deny you anything under the sun if I had the money! I never mind spending money if I have it.” To prove that point, he'd save cash in an old coat pocket for special occasions. I found $1,800. cash in that old jacket in his closet when I went through his clothes after his passing. It was money he’d put away to spend on one of his no holds barred Christmas family dinners at our favorite restaurant. We hadn’t gone out that year because he was not well. He died on December 26th. 

Even though I, too, grew up in the Depression years, I was not quite old enough to feel it. I used to wonder why Mother sliced the Spam so thinly though, or showed me how to separate the two layers of a Kleenex tissue so they could be used separately. Since I seldom handled money I didn't miss it. When Mother passed on and I took over the housekeeping, laundry, and cooking, Daddy would stick a few greenbacks under the scarf on the top of the piano for me to take when I drove to town. I seldom bought anything for myself, though he never told me not to. Then when Grandmother Darling took me in as a college student, she paid for everything. I didn't lack for anything nor even ask. I just didn't need money. After marriage, at nineteen, I found it hard to spend money provided for by my husband. I got over that, however, and learned how to enjoy shopping. 

I've learned to spend more freely as the years go by. But lately I’ve been a little too free with my credit cards and have gone into my savings to keep them paid up. So yesterday I did something drastic. I terminated the use of all my credit cards, packed them up and mailed them to my son, Wally K. It’s debit card, check and cash from now on and I’m going to have to watch my step!

Maybe I’ll try to follow Wally G’s example and leave the kids cash enough to go out and have a grand Christmas dinner. Somebody remember to tell them, as Wally G used to, “Don’t look at the right side of the menu, kids. The sky’s the limit!” And when the check comes to the table pay with cash and hand the waiter and maitre'd their tips along with a word of thanks for their service as you leave.  

Growing up as we grow old, I'm learning, is coming to grips with one's faults because we may be making other changes before long. Mark Twain was asked which he'd choose to go to after death, heaven or hell. He's supposed to have answered, "Well, I think I'd choose heaven for the climate, but the other place for the company." So now, for me, this is one more step in the process of growing up. If I don't grow up I might grow down and that's not a place I'd care to go to either for the company or the climate!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Grandma!
    If you need any kind of budget or financial spreadsheet, let me know. :)
    As for heaven/hell, I'd have to agree with Mr. Twain. But maybe by the time I'm there, they'd have invented a way to transport between the two so we can have visits. ;)
    I agree about growing up, though. I think that applies to everyone at every age. My growth comes slowly, but I see evidence of it happening sometimes, and that is... Cool! :)
    Luv you,
    Erin

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